The People Under the Stairs

--Reviewed by Lindy Loo

Historical note: This was the movie I saw on my first date in high school. It was with a really big sweet oaf of a football player two years older than me. We held hands. The movie still sucked.

Plotline: A young boy named Fool attempts to help a family friend rob his landlords' house so that he can save his family from being evicted. In the process, Fool is trapped inside with the insane landlords (a brother and sister masquerading as parents) and all their reject boy-children who they've kept trapped under the stairs for years. Fool attempts to liberate himself and their daughter (who's never seen the light of day) from this terrifying house, all the while battling a "father" dressed like a gimp with a penchant for shooting up the walls and mommie-dearest.

Scariness factor: Lame lame lame. The gunk stuck in the crack between my toenail and toe is scarier.

Originality: Eh--if the plotline wasn't so ludicrous, it might pass as being somewhat original.

Complaints: The "parents"/landlords are so completely over-the-top that they are a far-cry from ever passing as scary. Wes Craven apparently missed the idea of subtleties here--killers who pass easily as sane are WAY more scary than crackpots holding crackpot signs and wearing crackpot t-shirts.

My big complaint was the lack of scariness in this movie--I mean, have you SEEN what the people under the stairs look like? Regular folks with really thick caked-on white makeup. *Dying of fright*

Other High Points: Pretty much nothing. The fact that it's one of the few horror movies that features a main character who's black could've been interesting. But it wasn't.

Overall: I was bored with it, just like when I saw it back in high school. Probably even moreso since back then, I had even LESS discerning tastes.

Grade: F