Thursday, October 15, 2009

Tormented (1960)


--Reviewed by Lindy Loo


Plotline: A man who is soon to be married stands idly by as his mistress tosses threats at him and then falls to her death from a lighthouse. But this mistress just can't let it go and returns as a ghost, threatening his marriage with her hauntings.

Scariness factor: A ha ha ha ha ha hahahahahaha cough choke hahaha.



Gross-Out Factor: Horrifying and gruesome scenes such as "plastic head being held in man's hand" and "footprints appearing in carpet" and "woman plummets from lighthouse."

Complaints: All the complaints are precisely what makes this movie such a campy gem. First off: voice-over/narration. Apparently it was the "hip thing" in 1960s horror flicks to have THE most retarded voice-over/narrations EVER. The Haunting (1963) which is one of my favorite horror movies of all-time suffers from the same problem. The characters think A LOT to themselves and VERY LOUDLY. Second: the sound effects. I swear to god, the sound of a seagull squawking overhead is SERIOUSLY a dude shouting CAW CAW CAW. Not even shitting you. Third: the logic. Apparently people in the 1960s were RIDICULOUSLY stupid all the time. You have a head in a blanket? Definitely throw it out in the sand where people will surely find it. Fourthly: Oh my god the dude that tries to blackmail the male lead has THE funniest dialogue ever, Dad. I think he's supposed to be a hipster, Dad, so he seriously calls the dude Dad like 37 times in the course of 10 minutes, Dad. Fifth: The special fx. Seriously, there is a scene with a plastic head that we're supposed to believe is the head of the woman haunting him. Sixthly: The acting. Worst. Acting. Ever.

High Points: See all the complaints.




Overall: This is high-camp, so don't go in expecting to have your socks scared off, Dad. But DO figure out how to turn this into a drinking game because next Halloween I AM SO SHOWING THIS AT MY PLACE.

Grade: A (but only in camp)

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16 Comments:

At 12:05 AM, Blogger carmendestroyerofsnacks said...

That sounds so incredibly bad/good. I must find it someplace.

 
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