Cemetery Man (Dellamorte Dellamore)

--Reviewed by Lindy Loo

Plotline: Francesco Dellamorte is the cemetery's "engineer" and must re-kill the dead as they rise from the graves again. And to make matters worse, he keeps falling in love with the same woman over and over.

Scariness factor: This movie was not GOING for scariness, so while it wouldn't get high marks in this category, I don't think it was TRYING to get them in the first place. Cemetery Man is more of a horror comedy (in the vein of Dead Alive or Army of Darkness) though perhaps filled with a bit more philosophical musings on the nature of death.

Originality: How many times have we seen zombie movies? So on that front, this is nothing new. But how it is handled is a bit different and fun. You'll get to see Rupert Everett shoot up a pack of zombie boy scouts, a motorcyle zombie, and a lustful zombie, with a nonchalance that is startling and yet funny. You'll get to see the movie take off in many weird directions. You'll get to see lots of boobage. And you'll get to see a very weird sense of humor couched in some actual interesting thoughts on death. So while maybe not as outwardly funny and satirical as Sean of the Dead, and while the box makes it looks like some really lame David Schwimmer-esque flick, this movie IS a weird little gem at times.

Complaints: The pacing was a bit slow--it seemed gratuitously long to me, but perhaps that was because I had to keep interrupting the first 30 minutes of the movie to put laundry in the drier and bake cookies. Oh, and the kissing scenes were perhaps the most unattractive, non-sexy kissing scenes I've ever seen, which is sad because Rupert Everett isn't bad too look at, and his love-interest looked like a cross between Kate Moss and Fiona Apple, so I expected a bit more chemistry. But it felt like you were watching somebody practice making-out with their own hand.



High Points: The nonchalance with which Everett's character approaches killing the zombies was one of the funniest parts of the whole movie (and to see a bunch of zombie boy-scouts). It also had a lovely (and weirdly touching) ending to it as well that took it out from the realm of just comedy and gave it something more.

Overall: This movie is a weird one--I'm not quite sure what I thought of it when all is said and done. It was really quite funny at times. It was also weirdly reflective and philosophical at times. It had gross-out moments along the lines of Dead Alive. And it had zombies. So if you like all of these things, then you may wanna nab it sometime. But don't go in expecting scares--pick it up when you're in the mood for a few laughs and to maybe go HMMMMM once or twice.

Grade: B