Monday, April 02, 2007

Bigfoot (1970)

--Reviewed by Lindy Loo

Plotline: A gang of teenage bikers and their girlfriends lose one of their members while gunning it through the forest. Her boyfriend claims that she was dragged off by a bigfoot. With the help of some local yokels, they attempt to track her down in the forest and rescue her.

Scariness factor: Bahahahaha. Yeah right.

Gross-Out Factor: Nothing more horrific than some bloodshot Sasquatch eyes.

Complaints: This movie was the best. Nothing to complain about.

High Points: This movie was one of the WORST movies I've seen in a really long time, which of course made it WAY too much fun to watch. John Carradine's in it playing a hillbilly (which was funny in and of itself). The acting's terrible. There are huge lengthy sequences where nothing happens and people are just a) hiking or b) driving. Like HUGELY lengthy ones. Like the kind where you're like, Um, I wonder if somebody was trying to fill up space to make the movie long enough to be considered a full-length feature? One of the female leads has HUMONGOUS breasts (see above picture) and, despite the fact that she parachuted out of a crashing plane, they are pretty much hanging out of a really thin shirt the whole movie. (And she, of course, spends a gratuitous amount of time running through the forest barefoot, her large breasts jiggling away.) The other female lead is in a bikini pretty much the whole time. The bigfoot characters are SO goddamn funny--you can see the part where the tops of their costumes separate from the bottoms when they run. They make the most idiotic noises ever. The one has crazy blood-shot eyes. They are the funniest bigfoots I've seen. There's a gang of bikers in it, and they all ride Yamahas. Heh heh. And they all toss around really bad 1970s cliches the whole times. Oh, and the time of day switches back and forth from daylight to darkness pretty much indiscriminately the whole time. We also lucked out and got to watch this movie at 12:30am, at a Holiday Inn horror-movie expo, with a bunch of drunk people, so needless to say, the shit that people were shouting out over the movie was just as funny as the movie itself. Couple that with the fact that the movie reel had 1970s commercials embedded in it (from Sizzle-lean bacon to a hugely homo-erotic Schlitz beer commercial) and it was like heaven.

Overall: One of the best campy movies I've seen in a long while. Track it down.

Grade: A

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At 3:02 AM, Anonymous scary clips said...

Bigfoot exists!


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