Black Christmas (2006)

--Reviewed by Lindy Loo

Plotline: Every Christmas, the sisters at Alpha Kappa Gamma Sorority wrap a gift up for Billy Lenz, an insane murderer who killed his mom and step father in their sorority house on Christmas day. It's a token offering, to keep the evil spirits at peace. But this year, it's apparently not doing much good, as the sorority girls find out when their sisters begin showing up dead.

Scariness factor: Alas, no good jump-in-your-seat-type moments.

Gross-Out Factor: High on the gross-out scale. The worst moment being when Billy bakes his mothers flesh into X-mas cookies and is dipping them into a glass of milk and chewing on them when the police come. I actually felt my stomach turn on that one.

Complaints: I would like to say that if you could get beyond the fact that the female villain sounded exactly like Chris Farley playing the Gap Girl, you might enjoy this movie. But alas, I cannot. The movie is lame. The acting is lame. It's not scary. It's not campy. It's just excessively gross, and I didn't really care about the sorority girls getting picked off one by one.

High Points: Short of the feelings of nostalgia for Christmas, and the warm memories of Chris Farley that were merely incidental, there's not much I can add to this category.



Overall: Although I'm still interested in seeing the original to compare, I can reassure you that if you go through the rest of your life never having seen this movie, you'll probably be much better off.

Grade: D-