I Eat Your Skin

--Reviewed by Lindy Loo

Plotline: A writer and his friend head off to an island (for some relatively unexplained reason) that they've heard is running rampant with zombies and a hotbed of voodoo activity. Cue hot white-chick that the writer spends most of his time trying to hook up with. Cue mad scientist who is doing strange things with snake venom.

Scariness factor: The zombies look like they have really bad eczema. If you are scared of skin diseases, do NOT, I repeat, do NOT watch this movie.

Gross-Out Factor: See Zombie Eczema.

Complaints: How can you complain about a movie as delightfully campy as this? I mean, when you have a main character who is a swinging male-tramp, enough so that he can be lured into visiting a zombie-filled island by being told that the ratio of women to men there is 5 to 1, how can you go wrong? The only disappointing aspect of the movie is that absolutely no skin-eating takes place, despite the title. I'm still not even quite sure what it refers to.

High Points: This movie was the funniest campiest weird movie I've seen in a while. I picked it up randomly at Half-Price Books about a month ago for real cheap at the urging of E. And thankfully, it didn't disappoint. There's swinging couples in the movie. There's a whore of a male main-character who is constantly trying to get in every female's pants around. There's Eczema-Zombies. There's explosive mad-scientist machines that actually make BOOP-BOOP-BEEP-BOOP sounds and flash the word DANGER. There's voodoo-ass cheeks. There's completely faltering logic. There's crazy voodoo-dancing. And there's sex. Mad mad swinging sex. (Not shown, however.)

Overall: This movie was really really goofbally and fun to watch. What someone needs to do is remake it with Bruce Campbell as the lead, because I can hardly think of someone better equipped to take on the role of sweet-talking, zombie-ass-kicking swinger extraordinaire.

Grade: A (camp)