Thursday, October 16, 2008

Friday the 13th

As I am apparently your horror-movie-reviewing bitch ; ), I watched Friday the 13th last night, as requested...

--Reviewed by Lindy Loo

Plotline: Camp Crystal Lake is prepping to open again, 20 years after a series of horrific murders. Will the camp counselors make it out alive this time?

Scariness factor: All I have to say is CHI CHI CHI CHI HA HA HA HA CHI CHI CHI CHI HA HA HA HA.

Gross-Out Factor: Pretty high, in that 1980's campy slasher-film-type way.

Complaints: This movie's fun, so I really don't have any. Oh wait! No. The one thing that DROVE me nuts was when the one girl takes elaborate measures to fend off her attacker by stacking and dragging various different objects in front of a door THAT OPENS OUT IN THE OTHER DIRECTION, essentially making all her effort not worth JACK SHIT.

High Points: This movie is great classic 80's slasher film camp. It's creepy and yet funny. It's got bad acting. It's got over-the-top death-scenes that essentially just show off gloriously old-school special fx. It's got a creepy-ass ending. It's gonna a funny as shit ending. *SPOILER: It has one of THE funniest horror movie villains in it: a nearly-elderly woman whose bones you can almost hear creaking whenever she moves and who does a FANTASTICALLY hysterical job of looking crazy while slapping around the Final Girl. Because she of COURSE has to be a slapper, seeing as she is a woman. /END SPOILER* It also has a very young Kevin Bacon in it who looks like he's had every square inch of hair Naired from his body. Seriously: way too much fun.

Overall: A great slasher classic, perfect for the Halloween season.

Grade: A



At 6:23 PM, Blogger Seabird said...

Lol! Thanks for reviewing it!

That movie is just brilliance in a film reel.

At 3:08 AM, Blogger Joanne said...

I know I watched this movie when I was like, 12 years old but I just can't remember a single thing about it. How's that for an aging memory? LOL I think I need to refresh my brain a bit before I really begin to experience memory loss. Now THAT is a scary thought.

At 11:16 PM, Blogger Seabird said...

Oh, by the way, you MUST watch Cube. I'm not even joking, it's one of my favorite horror movies.

Be warned, it's love it or hate movie.

Avoid the sequels at all costs, though. They suck. Majorly. I even made up a word to describe how suckish they are.

At 4:13 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

this and halloween are the best horror movies ever made. NUFF SAID


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