Pitch Black

--Reviewed by Lindy Loo

Plotline: A space transport-vessel crash-lands on a seemingly deserted planet. The survivors (one of which is an escaped convict with eyes that just happen to be able to conveniently see in the dark) are forced to fight for their lives as the planet slides into darkness and its predators awaken.

Scariness factor: Should've been. But wasn't.



Gross-Out Factor: Ugh--I can't even remember. I don't think it was anything TOO nasty though.

Complaints: SO. BORING. Really. I just didn't find this movie interesting. At all. I mean, the interesting part of the premise (having to fend off predators in the dark) doesn't even begin until halfway through the movie. And Vin Diesel is annoying as FUCK.

High Points: There was like ONE scene where you see the people moving through the pitch black, and when one of them waves a light-source around them, we see the RIDICULOUS number of predators just waiting for them in the dark. THAT was cool. The rest: boo.



Overall: Quite frankly, I thought this was boring and sucked. It could've been an interesting premise. But it wasn't.

Grade: D-

Night of the Living Dead (1990)

--Reviewed by Lindy Loo

Plotline: Something strange is going on and the dead are coming back to life.

Scariness factor: Nothing too special.



Gross-Out Factor: Nothing TOO terrible.

Complaints: I didn't really have any overriding complaints--I mean, it's a zombie flick, and I heart zombie flicks. And it's a pretty good zombie flick at that. Then again, it's a remake of a DAMN good zombie flick, so that taints it just a TINY bit for me.

High Points: The special effects are great in this. And it was enjoyable cataloguing the differences between this version and the original--for example, in this version, the female lead is actual a strong character with agency, which was nice to see, as that's something that's always bothered me a bit about the original. It's also a bit more high-paced than the original. But at the same time, it kind of foregoes the interesting character development of the original to make way for this high pacedness. The difference in endings also makes this a lot less interesting as a social commentary. Nonetheless: it WAS a fun movie. I won't discount that fact. Oh, and the zombies are cool.



Overall: This is a fun flick, especially for a remake. What makes it decent as a remake is that it doesn't try to maintain the intense seriousness of the original--it has a sense of humor about itself, and in a remake of such a good movie, that kind of fends off bitter comparisons between the two.

Grade: B

The Feast

--Reviewed by Lindy Loo

Plotline: It's a typical weeknight at the local dive bar, that is until a man busts in with tall tales of vicious, man-eating creatures headed their way.

Scariness factor: It's got some high-tension moments, though the humor saps out a lot of the build-up of tension (though not in a bad way)



Gross-Out Factor: Pretty damn high. A dude gets an eyeball pulled out, in full-on, graphic grossness. And that's just one example.

Complaints: Really, I'm hard-pressed to think of any.

High Points: I'd seen this movie at the library dozens of times and thought nothing of it because it looked like a shitty straight-to-video flick. And then I saw it on someone's TOP 100 HORROR MOVIES list. And then I saw it on someone else's TOP 100 HORROR MOVIES list. So I decided perhaps I really needed to check it out. And there's a reason that it made it onto these people's list: It's is a goddamn fun and funny horror flick. I rarely enjoy new horror flicks, but this movie was seriously a blast. It doesn't take itself too seriously, and it also doesn't take the horror genre too seriously, so it's an enjoyable self-deprecating ride. It's high-paced throughout, never a slow moment. The 90 minutes will breeze by with action-packed momentum. It's got strong female characters--in fact, they're the only ones who really seem to have their heads on their shoulders throughout. And they kick ass and explode the "helpless female" horror movie trope. But most importantly, this movie is funny as HELL. I found myself laughing out loud in parts. It sets you up to expect certain things out of it, and then it very cleverly undercuts all of your expectations.



Overall: I really really enjoyed this movie. It is funny, fast-paced, has great special fx, and is surprisingly underhyped. Go check it out. You won't be disappointed.

Grade: A

I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW...

I owe you all like five reviews.

They're coming. Promise.

Hopefully sometime this week if all goes well.